Blank page staring back –
Judgmental liquid crystals,
Immaculate Hell.
It’s mid-November already! I should have about 25 000 words, but I’m still shy from 20 000. It’s OK, I’m having fun :) I’m experimenting with dual writing: working on 2 projects at the same time to beat writer’s block and avoid boredom. And when I don’t feel like working on any of those projects… I write NaNoWriMo haiku >_<
Have a good week!
There’s sacrifices to be made to manage to squeeze that much words out of a brain in so little time, however, 30 days of pizza isn’t one I was ready to make. A writer’s brain needs healthy sustenance if it wants to make it through November, so I spent my Halloween day preparing food for the month… This one is an easy recipe for a chunky veg soup I found on Butterflyfood. I like everything about it, except the chunkiness. Next time, I’ll chop my tomatoes smaller ;)
(recipe adapted from Donna Hay)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, chopped finely
2 stalks of celery, chopped
3 carrots, chopped
1 tbsp fresh thyme
sea salt and fresh ground pepper
1 can of chopped tomatoes (28 oz) (re-chop giant chunks if it’s not your thing)
1 1/2 liters of water or stock (I used low sodium chicken broth)
1 cup of pasta (your choice)
In a large saucepan over medium heat add the oil, onion, carrots, celery, garlic, thyme and salt and pepper and cook until just soft. Add the tomatoes and stock and simmer for 15 minutes. Add the pasta and cook for another 8-10 min. Serves 4-6.
I like it with a wee bit of freshly grated parmesan… but maybe that’s just me.
One thing I forgot to take into account when I decided on this challenge for my Freakin’ Fab February is that… well it’s February. And I’m in Quebec. And the window of my bedroom faces West. The only light coming through my window is my neighbor’s backyard light that he leaves open ALL NIGHT. In the morning, everything is somber and gray, which is not exactly uplifting. After two very relaxing morning of late sleeping, I decided I would try that back in SF if my boyfriend is willing…
I programed my alarm clock to wake me at 6 a.m. this morning. I woke up to close it.
And went back to bed.
I’m very glad to report this was a huge success. My will was unfaltering, due in part to the excellent chili I prepared last Sunday and the “salad bar” drawer I had set up in the fridge. The idea is to make everything easier than ordering pizza. And by eating much more protein than I’m use to, I almost eliminated my sugar craving. Which is not a small feat.
I still have plenty of chili for this week, yeah! It’s lucky, because my car is stuck behind a five feet high snowbank I have no time to take care of.
The funny thing is that the day after I posted my list of challenge, my coach asked me NOT to write this week, as a practice. Of course I listened to her…
Partial success. Blogs are like a drug to me. And these days I’m obsess with shoes and did my share of mindless shoes searching (I’m looking for the perfect comfortable heels with round toes). How much time can a girl browses shoes online? Gosh… It’s not exactly reading, but it’s not exactly productive either :/
All in all, I’m alright with the result. That’s the big thing I’m trying to learn with my coaching sessions: not forming excessive expectations and being happy with the results I get. Very zen. Very though.
The thing is, I want to feel good about myself. And I want to get my mind off the move to SF for some time (time is going sloooowly… I miss my boyfriend!).
So, what’s the infallible plan to ensure I have the “time of my life”?
I’ll open the curtains before I go to bed so that I’ll let the natural light of the day waking me. That should get me up around the same time I’m used to (between 7h and 7h30) but in a much better mood than with my alarm (that’s my theory, anyway).
I’ve been following the meal plan Tim Ferris’ suggests in The Four Hour Body for a few weeks, and it’s really something I like doing and that does me good. Except I make a little too much exceptions. I want to do it “strict” for a month, just to see the difference and prove to myself that I can do it.
To help me, I cleaned my refrigerator of every things that doesn’t belong to my meal plan (it’s so refreshing to see the space!), I prepared and froze a delicious chili that’ll help for those days I don’t want to cook, and I chopped and cooked a few of the key ingredients I need in the morning (I’m very lazy in the morning, and I observed that if I mess with the rules for breakfast, the rules generally go to hell for the rest of the day).
I’ve never felt better than when I had a writing practice, but I’ve never been able to maintain one for more than 4 months at a time. There’s always an emergency that shows up at some point and blows all the momentum created by weeks and weeks of regular writing. And then it’s back at the beginning, just like the AA who take a sip after years of sobriety. But it’s important to get back on track… so I’ll do it this month after choking the practice last May (been a while!). By committing to only 30 minutes, I’m making sure I’ll actually do it.
Writing for this blog doesn’t count!
As a part of my coaching sessions with Kate Swoboda, I had to log all of my activities for a week. I almost couldn’t believe the results. Jeez, I read waaaay too much. Some people watch too much TV, but I, on the other hand, pass way too much time skimming blogs and books. I installed LeechBlock to make sure I stay in line. This little Firefox add on allows me to define a list of time sucking websites and the maximum time I should be spending on each. It’s neat!
I’ll continue to read a fiction book every night for 10 min to 1h before going to sleep though… that takes the edge off the day and makes me dream of more interesting stuff :)
I’ll check in on the blog every Tuesday to let you know how it went…
I hope you have a freakin’ fab February too :) What would you like to do differently this February? Is your routine in line with your dreams?
(By the way, if you want to laugh, you should hear me pronounce “February”… Is it just me or is it a hard one?)
My original plan when we installed these doors in the house was to paint one every six months for the next three years. I mean… it takes one coat of primer and three coats of paint to cover one of these beauty in black. It’s long, repetitive, creep-in-your-dream work.
But since we have to put the house on the market in November (only two and a half years ahead of schedule), I had to paint five doors in one week. In fact, I’m not entirely finished. I have to scrape the little courage I have left to do the last coat on the last door. Ugh.
All paint by Benjamin Moore. Door: Onyx; Trim: Cloud White; Wall: Silver Satin.
I love the result though. Black is so dramatic.
So, while I’m working hard on completing every projects we started on the house, I realized I had been feeling a little miserable lately. For lack of writing. As usual.
Therefore, I decided I would do NaNoWriMo this year. Because one can’t be too busy, right?
I’ll use this opportunity to exorcise a novel idea that has been bugging me for a while. I got absolutely no plot. Only a world and main characters’ arcs.
Should be fun :) Right…
The truth is, we all have the same amount of hours in our days. Yet some people create great things while others procrastinate. Here’s a list of ideas to help you free the extra hours needed to complete your novel.
1. Read fewer blogs
Clean up that RSS reader of yours! Keep only a few blogs, ideally blogs that motivate you or help you stay on the right track.
2. Stop reading any blog at all
Stop reading blogs for a week. It frees time + makes space in your mind for your own voice.
3. Get on a news diet
This article explain better than I could the many reasons why you should stop watching the news.
4. Stop watching live television
Television is a real time sucker, but sometimes we need relaxation and entertainment. Commercials though? We can totally live without. They not only suck times, they kill brain cells!
5. Be TV free
Last years, our TV broke and we went TV free for a month. A MONTH. We survived. We should make it a yearly event…
6. Pursue less hobbies
Stop pursuing secondary hobbies just because they’re easier or give more instant gratification than writing.
7. Accept untidiness
Settle for an acceptable state of disorder. Everything doesn’t need to be spotless. You don’t live with your mother-in-law, right?
8. Declutter
The less stuff you have, the less cleaning you need to do – the more time you have to write!
9. Buy less stuff
Buying stuff takes time. Thinking about stuff you want to buy takes time too. Using and taking care of all the stuff you bought also takes time.
10. Outsource
Is there any tasks you can outsource? Gardening? Lawn mowing? House cleaning? Laundry?
11. Wake earlier
It takes time getting used to, but it’s very rewarding.
12. Go to sleep later
Sometimes we go to bed even if we’re not sleepy just because we’re used to go to bed at this hour. If you don’t fall asleep in the first 5-10 minutes, maybe it’s not time to sleep yet?
13. Stop socializing at lunch hour
Use that precious time to write.
14. Learn to say no
It’s nice to be of services to others, but not at the cost of what’s most important to you.
15. Exchange services
When you can’t say no to someone, maybe you can ask them to help you with something else you need to do. People who ask for your time should be ready to give a little of theirs in exchange.
16. Stop complaining
It’s time wasting.
17. Pull an all nighter
You can’t do it every night, but once in a while, it can be very energizing to make a big dent in your novel while everybody’s sleeping. You’ll feel like elves did the work for you! (OK, maybe not the following day, but after a good night sleep…) Here are some tips to pull a successful all nighter.
18. Don’t buy a house
There’s always something to do around the house…
19. Avoid talking on the phone
Keep it to the point. A little less conversation, a little more action…
20. Lower your standards
Stop fussing over details. Stop trying to impress everyone. Most of the time, good enough IS good enough.
Here’s how it goes.
In the beginning, the writer floats on a puffy cloud of glee. Fueled by unbridled fantasy of wealth and glory she writes outlines and characters’ bio like a killing machine – one that writes, that is. It’s like she’s pumping ideas directly from a well of blazing genius. Vivid montages involving Oprah and the New York Times are playing in loop in her mind. The world doesn’t know yet what’s in store…
Symptoms may include (but are not limited to): maniacal laughs, shiny eyes, dreamy stare, drool around the mouth.
The gleeful enthusiasm starts shriveling after a few unfruitful writing sessions. Plot holes pop out and gather to form story-sucking-black-holes-of-editing-nightmares. Characters grow mustachios and refuse to cooperate. And from some angles the book’s world is so thin it disappears. The writer starts questioning her judgment.
Still hopeful, the resourceful writer tries to seek help and inspiration in books and online – only to be slowly pulled in an endless spiral of pointless information and contradictory advices bringing yet more questions. “First or third person? Will this three-chapters-dream-sequence be a turn-off for agents? HOW MANY STAMPS SHOULD I PUT ON A SASE?!” At this point it’s already too late. The truth hits her in the face: writing is one hard business.
(Note the lack of mention of the Pulitzer price or making the NYT bestseller list… delusions of grandeur never make it past stage two.)
After what seems like a never ending bout of self-pity, anger mercifully kicks in. Enough with all the nonsense. There’s plenty of crap on the bookstores’ shelves. And crap? The writer already established she had a special talent for it.
Finally, the writer realizes her novel most probably won’t be the shining beacon of unprecedented awesomeness it was supposed to be, but decides she’ll write it anyway – or die trying.
Fat chances are the writer will revisit a few of the previous stages before she reaches that end, but nothing will shatter her resolution. Nothing.
Unless… it does…?
It feels like I went on a spirit quest – except without the funny animal guide to help me – but there was a book – no, it didn’t talked to me! – full of things I needed to read. (I got lost somewhere with all those en dash… but I like it.) The book is written by a Zen Buddhist and cast a philosophical/spiritual light on the writing process. I stuck, like, hundreds of post-it in it and literally cried while reading some passages. And I am by no mean a spiritual gal – though I’m somewhat of a cry baby.
I reflected a lot about what it really means to be a writer, about my expectations and my reasons to write. I realized that I had completely demonized the process of writing, letting myself believe I didn’t liked it; that I was more of a storyteller and that writing was a necessary evil for me to tell my stories.
That isn’t true.
I like writing… I like it when it is in its purest form. When I write to write and not for any other reasons – be read, be rich, showing off what I can do, prove that I’m a worthy human and that I contribute to the world by creating something…
I torture myself so much about writing. I put so much hope in thinking it is my liberation from a dull world, a boring job, a life that misses meaning. And truly it is, but not because it will bring me wealth and a way to connect with other people; but simply because I’m happy and complete when I write. It’s not the fruits of my writing that’ll save me; it’s the process itself.
So, did I wrote bullcrap all week? I guess I didn’t – not entirely. I wrote this piece. And I wrote myself a permission slip to have fun writing and be grateful for this gift.
*Wipes a tear.* (Just kidding.)
I don’t think I’ll plan another writing retreat anytime soon – or ever – but just in case, here are my notes for the hypothetical next one:
State of Mind – I realized half way through the retreat that I should see the occasion like a date with my writing instead than my last chance to catch up and make up some time. It’s OK to not do anything during a date; the important is to be there for each other.
All work and no play makes for a dull retreat – I should have plan fun activities in relation with writing: watching movies related to writing or sharing themes with my sweetspot map; reading a book about writing; other stuff I can’t think of. One can’t write 12 hours a day (I think… or only exceptionally), and after a day alone with my thought, I was getting crazy. Not redrum crazy, but still about-to-bang-my-head-on-the-wall crazy… (Fortunately, my aunt is a book lover, so I managed to find salvation in her collection.)
Timing – Planning the retreat right at the beginning of my vacation and just after a really exhausting bout of work was a mistake. Hey! Let’s cloister ourselves indoor and in front of a computer for a change – NOT!
Training – A writing retreat is a bit like a marathon: you can’t show up without having trained properly beforehand. I should have taken time to write a little every nights for a week or two before the retreat (in fact, I should always write a little everyday); the book would have been fresher to my mind and it would have been easier to get into it.
With those bits of wisdom, I’d like to thank you for reading and apologize for the lack of posts last week and also for having erased a few (too) spontaneous entries I published while going crazy. I will write more about the little book that saved me from a miserable retreat in a future post. I still have to digest a few of the teachings in it before I can do it properly, though.
Rarely have I been as unproductive as when I quitted my other blog to concentrate my efforts on my novel a few months ago. Not only was I not very productive on my writing, I wasn’t very productive at anything else either, even my job. Those few months have been like a vacuum of productivity – much more so than my blog was a vacuum of time. Oh! Wait… I was productive… I rewatched every seasons of Buffy and Angel. That takes commitment…
I decided to start this new blog to fight boredom and at least get some writing done in one form or another… and damn! Days later, projects and inspiration started surging from everywhere. It’s a bit exhausting to follow, but mostly exhilarating. I’ve been doing nothing for so long, I missed the joy of being busy.
I always thought a clear schedule was best for my muse, but it looks like she likes being busy and all over the place. (By the way… I find it corny to speak of “my muse” like that, but I can’t help it. That’s how it feels.)
In the past two days, I had a flash-idea for a Web serie, I planned the complete story-arc and even wrote the first three webisodes. I wanted to act on the impulse – NOT over analyze like I always do – and use the first burst of energy a new idea gives to get me as far as possible. It’s a really effective tactic.
My student-actor sister is now stepping in and will be assembling the crew to make everything a reality. Yay! Super exciting :)
Once the project is jump-started like that, it’s harder to quit or to forget… You’re so far already.
That’s what I want for my life. I’ll consider myself successful when I’ll be able to act quickly on every idea I have. Of course all ideas are not worth pursuing, but you realize pretty quick whether it’s worth your time or not. You may loose a day or two, but at least you won’t loose weeks poking the idea in every way and planning how you might possibly get started to maybe think about it seriously… Plus, your lizard-brain has no time to talk you down.
Yep. That freedom – that’s success to me.
In my fantasy, I drink tea, I write, and the words… boy! do they flow!
This year being the year in which I take action to realize this old dream of mine (formerly: to publish a YA novel and become a real author; nowadays more like: actually reaching the end of this damn story that’s been torturing my brain for over 3 years), I started contemplating the idea of going on a retreat more and more seriously. I can’t really afford a fancy writer retreat in a bucolic surrounding, but it doesn’t matter… What I need is very basic : somewhere that’s not my own, where I can be alone, with an air-conditioner, a decent access to Internet (dangerous, I know… but I really need my online dictionary), and a tea-pot.
It surprises me how long it took me to realize I didn’t had to go to the country or rent a room in a sad motel bordering the highway to isolate myself with my novel. I do believe it is important to be someplace that’s not your own so you don’t fall back on bad habits or get sidetracked by a piece a furniture in great need of being refinished… that kind of thing that happen irremediably when you hit a rough patch in your writing (I know it happens to me, anyway). Isn’t a friend’s or relative’s home or apartment exactly just the thing?
My aunt is going to Florida for 2 weeks this summer and she was thrilled by the idea of having a “writer” working her magic in her home while she was away. I arranged for my vacation to match hers, and voilà! My fantasy come true: the perfect writer retreat at no cost :)
Now that I think of it, I realize I could have done this numerous time in the last few years, I just didn’t recognize the occasion. One of my friend lived alone and was often away for complete week-ends doing whatever crazy things single girls do because they can. She often offered me to come if I needed the space, but being plenty comfortable at home (I got a flat screen, she got one of those that look just like an astronaut’s visor), I never took her invitation. It never came to my mind this was just the perfect writing retreat: no TV (you just can’t go back from a flat screen), a computer with an Internet access, a tea-pot, and a cute kitty to boot!
A few week-ends like that would probably mean I’d have finish my novel by now. Or not. But it certainly wouldn’t have hurt.
You’d be surprise how many people would love to take part in your project by lending you their space for free (or a glorious acknowledgment in your future book) while they are away.
Preparing the loved ones. Since I won’t be very far away, it’s important I inform my loved one (*cough*parents*cough*) about the idea behind my little retreat (i.e. W-R-I-T-I-N-G) and make it clear that I should not be disturbed (except if my cat die or something).
My boyfriend find the whole idea a bit weird (“but I’m not at home during the day! Why go somewhere else?” he says), but I explained to him it was important for me to be out of my day to day environment (especially since I work at home… not exactly a vacation if I spent it at the same freakin’ desk!) and that it’s better I do that than go through NaNoWriMo again (an intense experience for the writer and the people who live with them).
Writer’s sustenance. Two weeks, that seems a luxurious amount of time from this side of things (to me anyway), but I know they’ll just fly away like any vacation. Better not take any chance and organize everything ahead. And as nice as my aunt’s kitchen is, that’s not were I want to be spending my time!
Since I don’t want this to turn into a junk-food fest either (one can survive for a long time on chips, jelly beans and pizza, but the muse tends to get sluggish on such a diet), I plan to bring some good healthy collations, a few home-made frozen meals (when you’ve churned a few thousand words in your day, you might need a hearty meal) and easy to assemble lunches (omelets, tomato sandwich, salads, etc.).
It goes without saying ice cream will be required to assure a decent retreat.
To keep me sharp and on task: plenty of tea, smoothies, and maybe it’s the right time for me to try some real yerba mate with the gourd and everything (I tried flavored yerba mate in little tea bag… it wasn’t a success).
I’ll probably prepare and schedule a few blog posts with recipes for the time I’ll be away.
Writer’s secret weapons. Of course it would be heartbreaking to go through all this trouble and get stuck on a case of writer’s block. Mind you, I have a plan and an outline for my story, but I know I’m approaching a rough patch that’ll need some creative thinking to get through (I’ve been saving this rough patch for the retreat because I knew I needed to crack my head at it seriously). To ensure a productive time, I think it’s best to set a specific goal (number of chapters, scenes or words, specific problems to work on, etc.).
If you want to tackle a specific problem, it might be wise to start thinking about it in advance. Not thinking hard, nor trying to find a solution – simply thinking about the problems. The subconscious mind will keep the problem on file, and might prepare you a surprise solution for when you need it… I know mine do!
Here’s what I plan to bring with me:
I’m so pumped up and ready. The last few weeks have been really busy and stressful at work, so I can’t wait to take some time away for me. I do not plan to blog during my retreat (takes WAY too much time), but I’ll have a few posts scheduled to be published while I’m away. When I come back, I plan to do a little post (or not so little if this one is any indication) to see if it really was all I expected, and if there’s anything I could do better next time.
I hope you too can find some time to get away and do the things you love without distraction :)
