Category Archives: Think/Grow

Everything I know I learned from RPGs

February 26, 2012 | Tags: , , , , , ,
It’s nice to know there’s a place in the world where I can seek refuge away from reality, a place where I have some control, where I can make a difference and where uncertainty can be cured with an in-depth walkthrough found on the Internet. A place with magic too.

I must have been around 6 or 7 the first time I played a role-playing video game – Dragon Warrior, on my cousin’s Nintendo. It was epic – the music of that game still haunts me. My next encounter was many years later only – it took me a looong time to convince my parents to buy a console – when Alex and I stumbled on Final Fantasy VII and were flabbergasted by the depth of its world and characters – and again, the music.

Of course, spending so much time in a made-up universe developing skills for made-up characters might seem silly. But if I think about it, these games taught me many valuable lessons. Not that I need to justify my time with the PS3 or anything.

Live with purpose

Life is much better when you have clear goals.

Keep a quests journal

Back in the day, one had to take notes (on paper!) of the clues gathered during the numerous quests of the game. These days, there’s always some sort of quest diary in which every new task unlocked is recorded. Be it a to-do list or a full progress report for all your projects, it helps to have things on paper (or on file) – for better planning AND posterity.

Take the time to level up – but don’t over do it

At the beginning of a game, it always pays to do random battles in order to level up your characters. But after a certain level, it take so much experience points to get to the next level that it isn’t worth it anymore. The difference between one level and another isn’t significant enough to justify the amount of time spent getting there. Plus, there’s probably missions and special marks you could do to earn more experience points.

While it’s important to take the time to hone a skill, it’s important to know where to focus your efforts and when to stop. Perfect is pointless, most of the time.

It’s in the little things…

Sure, saving the world is fun… but let’s admit it, there’s just as much fun to be had in the non-epic stuff like browsing the shops, playing the mini-games, collecting stupid items, interacting with other characters, doing silly side quests, amassing tons of money, etc.

Same goes for real life. Sure, it’s great to have a big project to work on, but it’s important to indulge in the small things too.

Ditch the extensive walkthrough

Sometime when I play I get obsessed with the idea of a perfect game: finding every single treasures, unlocking the best items, getting all the trophies. To do so, you almost have no choice but to follow a walkthrough, and boy do that suck the fun out of the game! Instead of playing my way through the game and the story, I end up following a bunch of instructions. Dull.

There’s at least 2 lessons there: first, never forget the true reason you’re doing something (my reason to play is to escape and have fun); second: knowledge is great, but too much of it can be detrimental to progress.

(I still do check out strategy guides – it’s always nice to have an edge – but I don’t follow them step-by-step…)

Gather a good team around you

What’s a hero without his company of fellow adventurers? A great team of characters with diverse skills and specialties is your best assets if you’re trying to save the world. It’s just as important if you’re trying to make it better.

Take a break at the inn

In RPG world, a night at the inn usually means full health recovery. In real life, that can be applied many ways: either literally – book yourself some vacations! – or figuratively – just have a good night sleep! You’ll be all the better for it…

If you’re stuck in your quest, go to the pub/tavern

You never know what people you’ll meet with important information and clues… Or, you know, it might just be fun.

2 Comments - Leave a comment!

About L.A. & reflexions on urban traveling

January 14, 2012 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
With the exception of my 2 trips to San Francisco – first to find an apartment, then to… live – my travel experience can be resumed in 1 word: camping. This trip to Los Angeles was my first “true” experience in urban travel, and I will certainly remember it forever as I learned something very important there: I hate sightseeing.

Grauman Chinese Theather - or my definition of Hell

Running around the city to look at stuff I’ve seen countless times on TV – from better angles, closer and with better lighting – seems like a vacuous waste of time to me. There’s very few good pictures opportunity in it: these places are flooded with tourists. There’s very little to enjoy: like I said, these places are flooded with tourists. I find it strenuous and boring. And it leaves me with an empty feeling… or worst, the unsettling feeling that I am broken: Why can’t I marvel before these landmarks like everyone else? Why am I not having a blast? Am I the only one who’s rather die than to eat at Mel’s Drive In? Why can’t I be more grateful to be here? Why are these freaking tourists walking sssooo slowly?!

Getty Center's tram

Getty Center's gardens

Getty Center's... center

In the Getty's gardens

Nice textures and surprises in the walls at Getty

I think what I like best about camping is that it’s always an “experience”: sleeping in a tent, hiking, kayaking, cooking my food over an open fire, etc. It’s about doing stuff I can’t really experience anywhere else. Traveling as we did in L.A. felt weirdly like going to the zoo: we watched supposedly exotic things from behind bars. It wasn’t engaging.

I left with the sinking feeling to have seen nothing more of L.A. than what I had already seen in the movies. And I’m sad to report that everything in the movies looked better and more impressive. Deeply unsatisfying.

Venice Beach

For my future trips, I want to concentrate on experiences:

  • Eating in good restaurants intended for the enjoyment of locals – not only for the convenience of tourists (which we mostly did on this trip: one of the things we learned from SF).
  • Splurge on a meal I usually couldn’t afford.
  • Watch people while having a drink.
  • Try an activity I wouldn’t do in my everyday life (skydiving, for example).
  • Take my time because I’m on vacation.
  • Enjoy the perks of living in a hotel.
  • Rent an apartment instead of a hotel (hotels are nice, but after 2 days, the novelty kind of wears off…).
  • Walk around to get a feel of the city (which is not easy in L.A. since everything is so far apart… It’s one of the few place I would say you can get a better feel of the city by driving).
  • Not care about crossing “must see” landmarks off my list unless I feel a strong personal connection with the place.

The key to a trip (in my opinion) is to find contrasts, something different from what you know. What differentiate Los Angeles from San Francisco is not the Hollywood sign or the Chinese Theater. The real differences are in the little everyday things, things that change and shape the people who live there.

Well. Life is a lesson, right? I’m sure we’ll get better at traveling with practice – fortunately, it’s something I don’t mind practicing often! ;)

Walt Disney Concert Hall in downtown L.A.

Walt Disney Concert Hall in downtown L.A. during a fraction of second with no tourists in front!

So, as an ending note, here are some impressions and highlights on our trip to Los Angeles:

  • The serendipitous discovery of the Mexican restaurant with the most amazing decor ever – even the soundtrack was epic: Spanish covers of 50′ oldies. It was like stepping on a set for a Tim Burton/Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino collaborative movie. I’d totally watch that movie.
  • The never-ending bus ride from Getty to Venice beach. It wasn’t nice, but it was… different.
  • The long and tall Mexican Fan Palm trees. They are tall! And everywhere! It gives the city a weird, unique look. Well, unique for this girl who never went to Florida and other similar locations ;)
  • How little they care about pedestrians. The sidewalks were so messed up and poorly repaired and patched.
  • How the Universal Studios Park is in much need of a rejuvenating cure: I don’t mind going back in time and relive the thrill of Jurassic Park and the Mummy, but really, there’s been 2 new Terminator movies since T2, and 3D isn’t very exciting anymore since it spread to every theaters. What they need is magic…
  • The “Front of the Line” passes at Universal Studios, one of the most “Hollywood” experience we’ve had: passing in front of everyone and never waiting in line. AH!
  • Laughing glances exchanged with Alex during the very tacky and degrading “Hollywood Star Home Tour” – during which you see very few homes but lots and lots of bushes.
  • The delicious and humongous cocktails of the Saddle Ranch Chop House.
  • The complimentary cotton candy tower of the Saddle Ranch Chop House!

Humongous drinks and complimentary cotton candy tower at the Saddle Ranch Chop House in West Hollywood.

3 Comments - Leave a comment!

Manual for the lone (and socially anxious) tourist

October 27, 2011 | Tags: , , , , , ,
Our move to San Francisco is certainly a good occasion for me to face my “demons” (and hopefully grow from the confrontation). Among the nasties I’m eager to deal with stands my social phobia (I was about to call it SoPho… been in California for too long, looks like).

Get out of your shell - Poster design by Alice Povey

I’ve always been pretty shy, but in my teenage years my shyness (nurtured by high school drama and other fertilizers) surreptitiously turned into full-blown social anxiety. I’ve always manage to be functional in spite of it but it’s better not to meander in my head while I’m alone in a crowded space (not that it’s so much better the rest of the time but, hey…).

I’m not sure what causes the anxiety: it’s a mix of not wanting to disturb anyone, an inordinate (and distorted) self-awareness and a terrible tendency to over think everything (duh!). It leaves me in an unsettling state of mind, unable to engage, unfocused and confused. In Montreal, I had developed an excellent coping system consisting of familiar circuits, friends who’d accompany me, a sister acting as a security blanket when needed, etc.

Of course, in SF, I have none of this. What I do have though, is a gazillion things I want to see, places I want to go and new experiences waiting to be… er… experienced. I can’t afford to fear judgement and stay in my sad little corner. Instead of developing ways to avoid my anxiety, I’d really like to tame it.

So, how do you embrace being a solo tourist? With baby steps… Here’s what I do:

Bring that camera!

I like to wander around with my camera around my neck. It gives me something to fiddle with if I get nervous, but it also marks me pretty clearly as a tourist. I found that people are pretty tolerant and kind to tourists (well, the smiling, non obnoxious kind of tourist, anyway), and will even engage them in conversation. I also like that it explains why I might be goofing around and why I don’t know basic stuff like where to insert my bus ticket.

In fact, I used my camera as a sort of blanket way before I moved to San Francisco: it helped feel more relax during outdoor concerts, tournaments and other events. I find standing alone to be so awkward… How do I act normal? What should I do with my hands? Give me a camera and you give me a reason to stand there, a way to act.

No camera? I’ve seen people using their smart phone in a similar way…

Start with nature

Since I had absolutely no experience in playing tourist by myself, I decided to start small and went to parks and places where I’d be surrounded with more plants than people. Plants and trees are my friends, they do not judge ;) Seeing that I could go outside, play tourist, take pictures and find my way alone in a not too populated setting helped me develop an ease and gather enough confidence to move up to more public places.

Move up to super touristy places

The downside of super touristy place? There’s a frackin’ lot of people there. The plus side? You’re not alone acting like a tourist. Even though I use my camera to feel like I have something to do, I’m sometimes shy to use it in public places where I am the only one taking pictures. Of course, this problem disappear when I am among a group of Japanese tourists flashing their cameras everywhere. It’s actually reassuring to be part of a group, even of strangers.

Slowly grow your circle

Of course, I don’t want to limit myself to remote parks and tourist attractions. Often, the most interesting circuits are where locals work, live and have fun. Yet, I’m always a bit shy to enter someone’s world. It doesn’t take much to stick like a sore thumb in an environment where everyone’s busy going about their daily business. To counter the feeling, I try to learn as much about the area beforehand. Then, I set up specific goals of things to do once there (shopping for something in particular, taking a specific picture, finding the perfect spot to eat a snack, etc.). That way, I too feel like I got business to attend and therefore belong there :)

Go back if you can

If you’re anything like me, nervousness makes you forget about things you wanted to see, pictures you wanted to take, signs you wanted to read. It often takes me the ride home to realize how amazing the place was and everything I’d like to see closer. That’s why I allow myself (and even plan!) do overs.

Don’t leave with regrets… Give yourself some time in your travel plans to go back to your favorite places. There’s an ease that develops with familiarity, so you should be more comfortable this time around. You may see things you had completely overlooked the time before, and you will get a second chance to look at those things you went by a bit too quickly.

Challenge but respect your comfort zone

My sister is a social creature, getting fueled up by the contact of other people. I, on the other hand, need time alone to recharge when I’ve had too much social interactions – it drains me. It’s all well and good to want to get out of our comfortable little shells, but it’s important to respect who we are. I’m not trying to become someone else… I simply want to broaden my horizon. Therefore, it’s important to respect the need for solitude when it points its nose. If I don’t, sooner or later it’ll come bite me in the ass in the form of fatigue and/or anger at the world – and then there’s danger of completely retracting into myself for a little (or not so little) while. I know, it happened ;)

Sit and stand still

As you can see, a lot of my tips are about getting myself busy so that I don’t feel awkward… But from time to time, I like to exercise my stillness muscle, just to see how far it can stretch. I sit on a bench in the middle of a crowded park or plaza, and I observe.

That’s it.

There, sometimes, I can catch a glimmer of the truth: everyone has some sort of awkwardness to them, nobody’s perfect, and that’s perfectly OK…

Credits: Illustration by Alice Povey for Advice to sink in slowly

4 Comments - Leave a comment!

Enjoy the Process

February 18, 2011 | Tags: , , , , ,
About eight years ago, I stumbled upon a quote that would take a big part in how I view life.

It goes like this:

“The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want in the moment.”

While it sounded like pure and absolute truth at the moment, I realized recently this way of thinking was responsible for a great part of my unhappiness.

The problem with the quote (or more exactly how I interpreted it at the time), is that it creates a gap between what you want most and what you want in the moment.

For years I believed that my whims were the enemy of my dream and that their only reason to exist was to distract me from reaching my ultimate end goal. Submitting to the inspiration of the moment was never without a great dose of guilt. Inversely, I made of writing this ultimate end goal with an absolutely dreadful process. My eyes were so much on the wanted result that the process of getting there just seemed in the way.

My best work in the last years happened in creative activities for which I really enjoyed the process and had no clear end goal. Working on my recycled jewelry put me in a state of flow that was pretty refreshing. My blogs brought me a deep sense of accomplishment as well as positive comments on my writing. Photography changed the way I see the world.

Meanwhile, my novel made me feel miserable, a failure and a quitter. It sometimes put me in a state of intense high, but it also put me down… so down.

I took the quote so much to heart that I created a false dichotomy between what I wanted most (write a novel!) and what I wanted in the moment (have fun!). I realize now the lesson to learn from this quote was not to put aside what I want in the moment so that I could focus on what I want most. That doesn’t work. It’s fighting against yourself, it’s sad making and counterproductive.

The real thing I need to learn is to align what I want in the moment with what I want most. Enjoy the process. Be harmonious with my end goal. And sometimes, distractions are in order to recharge one’s creative well.

During one of my coaching session, Kate asked me “What do you get from forcing things?” At first I thought: “Satisfaction. Results. And…” and then I truly checked in with myself and I was forced to admit: “…nothing…” All the things I created and that I’m proud of sort of just happened. Sure, a little push here and there to finish something or get it to the next level. But nothing forced.

I’ll repeat it because I think it’s the most important thing I will have to digest, learn, apply and breath in all my life:

The secret to my happiness and success is to create an harmony
between what I want most and what I want in the moment.

No more dominatrix bullsh*t, just:
Enjoy the Process

2 Comments - Leave a comment!

FFF: First Week Report

February 7, 2011 | Tags: , , , , ,

Waking up with the sun

One thing I forgot to take into account when I decided on this challenge for my Freakin’ Fab February is that… well it’s February. And I’m in Quebec. And the window of my bedroom faces West. The only light coming through my window is my neighbor’s backyard light that he leaves open ALL NIGHT. In the morning, everything is somber and gray, which is not exactly uplifting. After two very relaxing morning of late sleeping, I decided I would try that back in SF if my boyfriend is willing…

I programed my alarm clock to wake me at 6 a.m. this morning. I woke up to close it.

And went back to bed.

Eating Healthy

I’m very glad to report this was a huge success. My will was unfaltering, due in part to the excellent chili I prepared last Sunday and the “salad bar” drawer I had set up in the fridge. The idea is to make everything easier than ordering pizza. And by eating much more protein than I’m use to, I almost eliminated my sugar craving. Which is not a small feat.

I still have plenty of chili for this week, yeah! It’s lucky, because my car is stuck behind a five feet high snowbank I have no time to take care of.

Creative Practice

The funny thing is that the day after I posted my list of challenge, my coach asked me NOT to write this week, as a practice. Of course I listened to her…

Reading Less

Partial success. Blogs are like a drug to me. And these days I’m obsess with shoes and did my share of mindless shoes searching (I’m looking for the perfect comfortable heels with round toes). How much time can a girl browses shoes online? Gosh… It’s not exactly reading, but it’s not exactly productive either :/

So…

All in all, I’m alright with the result. That’s the big thing I’m trying to learn with my coaching sessions: not forming excessive expectations and being happy with the results I get. Very zen. Very though.

0 Comments - Leave a comment!

Freakin’ Fab February

February 1, 2011 | Tags: , , , , ,
I decided I would have the best month of February I’d had in a while. Just like that. No reasons, only that I’m in for having a great time. And February is the kind of month that needs that kind of boost…

The thing is, I want to feel good about myself. And I want to get my mind off the move to SF for some time (time is going sloooowly… I miss my boyfriend!).

So, what’s the infallible plan to ensure I have the “time of my life”?

Waking up with natural light everyday of the week

I’ll open the curtains before I go to bed so that I’ll let the natural light of the day waking me. That should get me up around the same time I’m used to (between 7h and 7h30) but in a much better mood than with my alarm (that’s my theory, anyway).

Eating healthier

I’ve been following the meal plan Tim Ferris’ suggests in The Four Hour Body for a few weeks, and it’s really something I like doing and that does me good. Except I make a little too much exceptions. I want to do it “strict” for a month, just to see the difference and prove to myself that I can do it.

To help me, I cleaned my refrigerator of every things that doesn’t belong to my meal plan (it’s so refreshing to see the space!), I prepared and froze a delicious chili that’ll help for those days I don’t want to cook, and I chopped and cooked a few of the key ingredients I need in the morning (I’m very lazy in the morning, and I observed that if I mess with the rules for breakfast, the rules generally go to hell for the rest of the day).

Working on my novel every night for 30 minutes

I’ve never felt better than when I had a  writing practice, but I’ve never been able to maintain one for more than 4 months at a time. There’s always an emergency that shows up at some point and blows all the momentum created by weeks and weeks of regular writing. And then it’s back at the beginning, just like the AA who take a sip after years of sobriety. But it’s important to get back on track… so I’ll do it this month after choking the practice last May (been a while!). By committing to only 30 minutes, I’m making sure I’ll actually do it.

Writing for this blog doesn’t count!

Reading less

As a part of my coaching sessions with Kate Swoboda, I had to log all of my activities for a week. I almost couldn’t believe the results. Jeez, I read waaaay too much. Some people watch too much TV, but I, on the other hand, pass way too much time skimming blogs and books. I installed LeechBlock to make sure I stay in line. This little Firefox add on allows me to define a list of time sucking websites and the maximum time I should be spending on each. It’s neat!

I’ll continue to read a fiction book every night for 10 min to 1h before going to sleep though… that takes the edge off the day and makes me dream of more interesting stuff :)

Staying in Touch

I’ll check in on the blog every Tuesday to let you know how it went…

I hope you have a freakin’ fab February too :) What would you like to do differently this February? Is your routine in line with your dreams?

(By the way, if you want to laugh, you should hear me pronounce “February”… Is it just me or is it a hard one?)

3 Comments - Leave a comment!

Are you there 2011? It’s me, Maryse

January 22, 2011 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Sometimes, the stars align so well that I can’t help but think “I must be on the right path…”

New years stars

I’ve been contemplating the idea to hire a coach (a life coach, you know) for some time, thinking it could help me with a few of the goals I’ve been dragging around with me for eons. There’s this novel, on which I’ve been working long enough that people around me stopped asking about it (somehow, it’s worst than when they were constantly asking for update about how the writing was going). There’s these few pounds I got in spare that suck too much self-respect and pride out of me. And this idea that it would be neat to find a way to combine work and play.

These unaccomplished goals have become such a great part of my mental landscape that they kinda make me whole. Like Swiss cheese. The holes make me complete. I mean… I’d deal with it if I was to achieve any of those. I’m sure. But if I do, there will definitely be an “AFTER”. A definite line separating my life BEFORE the fulfillment of my goal and AFTER. Life will change. I will change. I will have to find a whole new way to define myself.

But life coaches are a luxury, and my recent apartment-searching-trip to San Francisco made me realized (not that I didn’t know it before) that luxury must slowly (or not so slowly) become a thing of the past because it costs much more to live in SF than in Montreal. MUCH more. And it’s even truer since our income will be cut in two (until I figure out a way to make money again once I lose my main client because of the impossibility to work remote… remotely ). There’s a lot of good things I have to say about our trip to SF, but the first things that always come to my mind is “I can’t believe we’re paying the same monthly amount to rent a studio in SF than to OWN a TRIPLEX in Montreal.”

So you can imagined how psyched I was when I received an email from Kate Swoboda telling me I had just won a month of free coaching with her. How great is that for amazing timing and wonderful opportunity? I’m sure there’s some karma magic behind it. (But mostly, the magic is called “newsletter subscription” and “twitter”.)

If you are not familiar with the work of Kate, I strongly encourage you to visit her blog. Personally, it was her focus on courage that got to me. The whole move to SF thing is about taking a leap of faith and exploring an idea in spite of our fears.

I’ve been hiding in the secure shadow of comfort and inertia for far too long. I think this year I won’t be able to escape my dreams.

(Ouch! Now I have to go clean up my gold star covered living room floor -_-)

1 Comment - Leave a comment!

Gulp.

November 24, 2010 | Tags: , , , , , , , ,
So. Alex and I got married this weekend. And it made me think about words I’m not comfortable with.

Marriage. The first marriage to which I’ve ever assisted was mine. It’s not part of my family’s culture. It certainly wasn’t part of my life’s expectations. My rebel side was even frustrated to have to do it in order to smooth some of the legal/financial aspects of our move to SF. I cracked up (laughing) when it was my turn to say “Oui, je le veux”… because it was all so formal and official. I mean… my boyfriend and I have been together for 13 freakin’ years! Anyway, my family has been very sweet about it and jumped in “the wedding game” with enthusiasm and good humor because I know none of them ever thought we’d plan a wedding in OUR family (much less MINE). Thankfully, it was very small and tasteful (the part we could control, anyway). And I think we made my boyfriend’s family happy, since marriage have a greater signification for them.

Woman. At 27, I still see myself as a girl…

Wife. No… I mean… No.

Husband. My [embarrassingly cute lover name omitted to protect Alex], a husband? It can’t be…

Weirdly, I don’t have too much problem with “spouse”. It sounds like a sea creature with tentacles and stuff. I think it’s because of the French names “poulpe” (octopus) and “ventouse” (sucker). I like that.

This is what I picture when I hear "spouse".This is what I see when I hear “spouse”.
The Low Tide, by Christy Pepper Dawson of Peppermint Daydream.

I guess that makes me very immature. And yeah, this post has absolutely no purpose. Except, if you could tell me I’m not the only one being uncomfortable with some words as she grows up, that would be nice :)

7 Comments - Leave a comment!

Why Lists Aren’t Always Your Best Friends

November 18, 2010 | Tags: , , , , ,
When I’m stressed out, I make lists. To clear my mind, to relax myself, to assess the situation. But every time I make lists, I run the risk of transforming into…

The Tackling Monster

Only one thing matters to the Tackling monster: getting things done.

Think it would be great to transform in a super-efficient being long enough to go through those stressful moments in life? Think again.

Once the Tackling monster gets control, it doesn’t take long before every situations, every shampoo bottles, every ice cream pots (hell, everything in the fridge!) become an opportunity to finish something. It’s sure satisfying to finish beauty product bottles… but it’s not exactly what I’d call high efficiency.

Because you see, the Tackling monster goes for quantity over quality… He has no regards for priorities.

He also has no heart.

As I tackle things on my to-do list in preparation for our move to San Francisco, I feel the moment eluding me. I am not savoring the process. I am not taking the time to enjoy the little things I’ll leave behind. I am not appreciating how exciting this moment should be.

I’m just tired and trying to stay on top of my to-do list.

Farewell parties, family reunions, last Christmas in my home… it has come to the point where I see them as merely another task to cross off my list.

So I take a bath and I pour ridiculously large amount of bubbles in it to try to relax myself (and finish that bubble bath bottle while I’m at it).

How to Kill a Tackling Monster

Tackling monsters are very hard to kill because they keep you busy. Also, you have to be pretty careful because hurting the monster means hurting yourself – and who wants that?

Still, there’s one method that has proven quite effective against even the worst specimen of Tackling monster: the gratitude list. Simply put, you have to take the time to make a list about everything you’re grateful for. Yeah, that’s poetic justice for you. A monster born from a list, killed by a list. The stillness of the act renders them weak and the gratitude, well, it finishes them up by making them realize there’s really no purpose to their existence.

Here’s a demonstration just to show how effective this is (don’t be afraid kids, you won’t see any graphic violence here).

Things I’m grateful for

  • this being my last winter in the north for a while;
  • the support and enthusiasm of my family and friends;
  • doing this adventure with my favorite person and my favorite cat;
  • the sheer opportunity that was presented to us (work visas aren’t exactly easy to come by);
  • having experienced owning my own house;
  • going back to renting a place;
  • scaling down on my possessions;
  • speaking a much better English than a few years ago;
  • having the guts (gulp) to start over in another city;
  • the welcome change this will bring in my career.

Everything will be alright.

3 Comments - Leave a comment!

Putting the Design in Life Design

September 23, 2010 | Tags: , , , , , ,
There might be (or have been, I’m sort of late it would seem) some debates about the validity of the term “Lifestyle Design”, but to me it still carry a very potent image. As I design my environment to better reflect who I am and how I want to live, I welcome the idea of being able to design my life as well. What if we all refused to settle for life’s default template and decided to create the reality that suits us best?

I read many definition of lifestyle design, but interestingly enough, the first and only time I’ve seen it defined through basic graphic design principles was on Jessica Mullen’s blog. She basically draws from the basic principle of DESIGN and applies them to LIFE. To me, it’s the most coherent description and the one that brings most meaning to the term. That’s life design for me. A creative approach to personal development.

It’s not a boys club. It’s not about passive income nor partying all around the world. It’s about designing your best self and bringing it to life (no, not like that!).

Now, I’m no expert at graphic OR life design, but here’s my take on Jessica’s proposition of principles (defining and refining is such a good way to integrate and understand new concepts and ideas):

Unity

Unity refers to a sense that everything in a piece of work belongs there, and makes a whole piece.
In lifestyle design, reaching for unity means accepting the world as a whole and having a sense of belonging to that world.

Alignment

Alignment brings order to chaos.
By aligning yourself with who you are and who you want to be, you bring order and meaning to your life. Aligning with your true self means following your instinct and concentrating on what you want for your life.

Contrast

Contrast is the occurrence of differing elements. It creates interest and pulls the attention toward the focal point.
Every time we experience something we don’t want, we know more of what we DO want. This contrast is what creates the desires we strive to quench. Without contrast, we would have no desires.

Patterns

Repeating items in design creates a consistent look and helps to convey the message.
As Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” Success at anything boils down to simple, repetitive positive actions.

Whitespace

Whitespace is the absence of design elements. It is the place where your eyes go to breathe.
In life design, white space occurs where we experience relief, where we let go of resistance. White space is inspiration from our higher selves, after our resisting old thought patterns get out of the way. Meditation and exercise are two ways of creating whitespace in your life.

Balance

The dictionary defines balance as a harmonious or satisfying arrangement or proportion of parts in a design.
I’m having a hard time putting my mind around this one. Of course it’s about juggling all life’s areas (spiritual, intellectual, psychological, social, professional, recreational, physical). But more than everything, I think it’s about feeling whole.

3 Comments - Leave a comment!